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How To Blow Up An Egg
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I need to do this that’s so cool!!!
(Source: britneys-unicorn)
brooklyndisaster:
hokusaij0nes:
puff-themagic-dragon:
whatthefawkes:
spookyhouse:
peint:
kingbeetle:
bouncybat:
amazingfanblog:
I don’t even know anymore. Just read the fucking article.
…I can’t.
This is like saying an acorn is a tree.
Can we just make Arizona secede from the US
it’s not like they have valuable natural resources or anything, right?
no, the bill furthers it.
you could be a person two weeks before your parents banged.
wow
Someone tell me why America keep coming up with THE most stupidest laws known to man?
ARIZONA, WHY YOU KEEP FUCKING SHIT UP
The people who are running things in Arizona are fucking idiots.
This is the STUPIDEST thing I’ve ever read.
I WANT SO MANY WANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Source: tommythepanda)
socialism:
you have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
communism:
you have 2 cows; the government takes both and gives you some milk.
fascism:
you have 2 cows; the government takes both and sells you some milk.
nazism:
you have 2 cows; the government takes both and shoots you.
bureaucratism:
you have 2 cows; the government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
traditional capitalism:
you have 2 cows. you sell one and buy a bull. you herd multiplies, and the economy grows. you sell them and retire on the income.
an american corporation:
you have 2 cows. you sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
a french corporation:
you have 2 cows. you go on strike because you want three cows.
a japanese corporation:
you have 2 cows. you redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. you then create a clever cow cartoon image called cowkimon and market them worldwide.
an italian corporation:
you have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. you break for lunch.
a swiss corporation:
you have 5000 cows. none of which belong to you. you charge others for storing them.
a chinese corporation:
you have 2 cows. you have 300 people milking them. you claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
an iraqi corporation:
everyone thinks you have lots of cows. you tell them that you have none. no one believes you and they bomb your arse. you still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy...
counter culture:
'wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. you gotta have some of this milk!'
surrealism:
you have two giraffes. the government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
fatalist:
you have 2 doomed cows...
a west-country corporation:
you have 2 cows. that one on the left is kinda cute.
a brazilian corporation:
you have 2 cows. you pay taxes for 6 cows. you have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
HAHAHA
(Source: megaswash)
Stay Positive: Small ways to make a girl happy.
staypozitive:
1. If you like her, straight up tell her. No one likes mixed signals. Have confidence, bro.
2. When you hug her, hug her like you mean it. Don’t give her one of those one-armed woosie hugs. Make it tight, and make it meaningful. It’ll make her feel secure.
3. When you walk next to a girl, get…
Ugh :/
(Source: staypozitive)
